The headlocks at this particular dairy had seen better days. Quite often they held cows in place, not because they were working properly, but merely because the cows “thought” they were caught. Over time though many of the cows had figured out that they could get out, with just a quick jerk of the head.
The herdsman had arrived at a “solution” to the problem though. Rather than having a welder out to actually fix the headlocks, he had decided to stretch a hot wire a few feet behind the apron that the cows were standing on. This would allow us to run any loose cows we might need into a free stanchion and check them there, without having to chase them all over the pen. It actually worked quite well, not as good as fixing the headlocks would have, but quite well.
After a few weeks of this the herdsman had quit actually hooking up the wire to the electricity, as just running the wire was quicker. This continued to work because once again the cows “thought” they were caught.
So as I watched a young two year old bull playing with the wire, I thought: “Well, they were bound to figure out eventually that it’s not actually on.” The bull picked it up in his mouth, then he stuck his head under and walked halfway under. He stood there halfway under leaning forward and back as if using the little wire to scratch his back. He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. But with the wire up on his back the cows took the opportunity to walk underneath and out in the pen.
So I grabbed the wire to also scoot underneath and to try to chase the cows back in. The problem is, that this week the herdsman had actually hooked the wire up to the electricity. One of my favorite movies is National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. On the cover of the movie is a picture of Chevy Chase wrapped in Christmas Lights, with his hair standing on end, his body wracked in convulsions, and electricity coursing through his body. I imagine this is how I looked at this moment. In addition the electricity seemed to send my hand into a spasm, clamping it firmly around the hot wire, and preventing me from letting go.
With great mental effort I was finally able to remove my hand from this wire. I sat right down in the pen to try to regain my breath, and my composure, and hoping that after a few minutes I might quit twitching. As I sat there I began to contemplate how that little wire could nearly electrocute me, and yet the bull could play with it, and seem to enjoy it.
Suddenly I remembered an experience with my daughter from several years ago. She was only two years old, and we had taken her to an aquarium to see the fish. We were all fascinated by the ever changing tapestries of color painted in the water by the schools of exotic fish. But in addition to fish in aquariums, there were also interactive exhibits. One of these was a couple of metal rods, that when grasped were supposed to simulate the experience of touching an electric eel.
We had found my daughter grasping both rods, and in fits of laughter. When my wife and I tried it we both screamed, and let go immediately. It really hurt! My daughter grabs it again, and just holds on and laughs. We yank her off, thinking that can’t be good for her. She cries at being removed, and when placed back on the floor immediately runs back over and grabs onto the rods again. She loved the sensation. Clearly there is some mechanism I don’t understand that allows different individuals to experience the sensation of electricity differently.
As Veterinarians we are encouraged to be scientists, to look at the data, and to practice evidence based medicine. It was then that I saw my partner enter the pen, look at the cows wandering around the pen with the bull scratching his back on the wire, and reach for the wire himself, so as to go gather the cows. So I did what any good scientist would do. I sat back and watched, ready to record my observations.